Friday, Pensive.

[aldersprig]

I've been thinking, after some conversation with cluudle about the nature of friendships, most specifically the idea that it's okay to stop being friends with someone. Not sure where I'm going with that one yet; it still feels foreign.

I do know I have some really awesome friends, and some people who I call friends who are really not awesome, some people who have hurt me by their soi-dissant friendship. (Hint: If I am following you on this blog, I'm not talking about you in the "bad friend" category).

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Cheerful stuff!

It's apparently Bisexuality Visibility Day. So, um, hi, I'm bi.

lilfluff wrote a piece maybe-in-Cali.

clare_dragonfly wrote a piece to my prompt.

rix_scadeau commented on the meeks drawing, so have a little more Autumn.

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Castle Playsets - http://www.yutzysfarmmarket.com/swingsets/castle-playsets/cozy_retreat_playset.php

Spy Jacket - http://www.scottevest.com/v3_store/Carry-on-Coat.shtml

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Comments

[clare_dragonfly]

It is okay! Not that you need me to tell you that. I can understand that it's very hard, though. The only times I've ever stopped being friends with someone was just gradual...

Hi! I'm bi too!

I'm sure you weren't aware and didn't do it on purpose, but the site with the spy jacket tried to force me to chat with them o.0

[aldersprig]

Sorry about the Spy Jacket!


Hi, bi!

[lilfluff]

I've had a few people I've become uncomfortable with and mostly just done the drift-away thing. Sometimes you can say, "You know, thing-X is bothering me," and they will understand and either stop thing-X or at least not wave it in your face. And sometimes it gets no reaction or a bad reaction. And in those cases it's probably not a friendship anymore even before consciously deciding to break it off.

Thanks for the signal boost! And for the link to Clare's piece.

[aldersprig]

I just have some really bad friends, or have had. People who tell me I'm imagining it if I say they're being mean, for example.

[cazzyline]

I want a play castle, big person sized with a 6x4 shed on top. I never did fit in the kiddies scale stuff anyway!

Hi *waves* Happy biday. :D

Not being friends is a difficult idea to get used to. The drifting apart version of ending a relationship that doesn't have an Actual Finish does not make it easier. My brain still gets a bit wonky around that.

[aldersprig]

I want a castle too!

((Spouseman loves your icon!))

[cazzyline]

Thank you, it was from Simpsonizeme.com around the time the Simpsons movie came out. The site seems to be down now.

[ranunculus]

The friendship thing is a difficult question. Over time I've made some distinctions that do seem to help me.

I don't call people "friends" who cross certain lines. Simply "being mean" isn't one of them. For me it depends on what people actually do or say and why. If someone regularly makes remarks that are "catty", disrespectful, disparaging and/or regularly reduce self esteem I'm not apt to keep them as friends, especially if we discuss it and they continue to do so. I don't want that energy in my life. Likewise if a friend takes advantage or my friendship with no reciprocal effort it is pretty much a deal breaker. Last year I quit communicating with a very longterm friend who, despite several conversations about the fact that our friendship was becoming a one way street, made no effort to change anything. I was very sad, but not inclined to let that particular person continue to abuse our relationship.