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aldersprigBonus Story: Rafe
by Lyn Thorne-Alder
Did you know that you could commission side stories of Addergoole? This one is commissioned by Wyste, and takes place right after Chapter 47.
Shadrach was vomiting in Rafe’s bedroom.
No. No... Rafe shook his head sharply. Up until that — that demon-voice thing had started showing up, he’d been doing better. His Kept was, despite looking like Shad, despite sounding like Shad, a younger, quieter, more controlled version of Shad.
More controlled, because he was wearing Rafe’s collar. More controlled, because Rafe was going to make sure this Shadrach understood exactly what Keeping was like.
If he understood, he might never flip out and start cutting his own Kept. He might never lock his own Kept in the closet. He might never give his own Kept conflicting orders.
read on...
by Lyn Thorne-Alder
Did you know that you could commission side stories of Addergoole? This one is commissioned by Wyste, and takes place right after Chapter 47.
Shadrach was vomiting in Rafe’s bedroom.
No. No... Rafe shook his head sharply. Up until that — that demon-voice thing had started showing up, he’d been doing better. His Kept was, despite looking like Shad, despite sounding like Shad, a younger, quieter, more controlled version of Shad.
More controlled, because he was wearing Rafe’s collar. More controlled, because Rafe was going to make sure this Shadrach understood exactly what Keeping was like.
If he understood, he might never flip out and start cutting his own Kept. He might never lock his own Kept in the closet. He might never give his own Kept conflicting orders.
read on...
Garden path
Date: 2017-11-04 09:08 pm (UTC)> Everything in this sentence and in English grammar says it's Rafe who came back in.
• ...and asked his Kept...
> Boggle. Go back to beginning of sentence. Reread, interpreting "he" as referring to Abednego.
• ...if he’d ever given him emotion orders.
> Got it now.
I know it isn't easy, but please try to keep in mind that not all of your readers come into an installment with the previous history of the situation and characters clear in their minds. And where IS that previous installment, Chapter 47? Your Recent Entries list has four hits for "47": your note at the top, one in a time stamp, one in a URL, and one in a tag count-- none helpful. A hyperlink on it in your note would take care of it.
Please? I really enjoy your stories and want to be able to follow them.
Re: Garden path
Date: 2017-11-04 09:11 pm (UTC)http://www.addergoole.com/gs/story/chapter-47-abednego/
With free-standing stories, I do attempt to keep people up to date, but this does come in the middle of a serial.
no subject
Date: 2017-11-04 10:28 pm (UTC)*smacks Shad up side the head, twice, hard*
*smacks Meshach the same, twice, and then a third time, because Shad was arguably the lesser of the two walking evils* God, Joff, that description and the confession that went with it... :(
no subject
Date: 2017-11-06 07:00 am (UTC)• Abedngeo nodded minutely.
→ ...
no subject
Date: 2017-11-06 01:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-11-06 07:25 pm (UTC)• Abedngeo nodded minutely.
→ Abednego.
> The G and N are switched. sorry, it was late and I thought it would be obvious. I forgot about dyslexia and so forth.
no subject
Date: 2017-11-06 07:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-11-06 07:29 pm (UTC)Damn, this preowned laptop has such lags in its display!
no subject
Date: 2017-11-06 10:57 pm (UTC)