Story of the City, a story of Reiassan for the Giraffe Call (@ellenmillion)

[aldersprig]

For ellenmillion's prompt

Reiassan has a landing page here on DW and here on LJ

When Sahsyō returned home from the city for the festival of Veignevar, she told her family: "The first thing I thought when I saw Ūnetkabyē? I wondered where they kept the animals."

This was, as her new friends at University would say, a poetic retelling, and as her grandmother would have said, if she'd known, a steaming load of what came out of the far end of the goat.

Yes, Sahsyō had, after a week or two in the largest place she'd ever seen, wondered where the animals were. She had grown up on her family's farm, raising barrel-chested milk goats and the biggest chickens in the mountains. There had always been animals around: goats and chickens, mousers and dogs. She had never been away from animals.

But she'd never been around that many people, either. And what she'd first thought when she'd stepped into Ūnetkabyē had been "Loud!" The city was loud in a way that she'd never imagined possible, louder than the ocean had been, louder than anything she'd ever heard. There were people everywhere, crowded up against each other, talking all at once, riding through the streets, carriages and goats and people shoulder to shoulder until there was nowhere safe to move.

Sahsyō had, she known, gapes and gawked. Stared, pressed up against the wall, terrified to move. She had tried to go back inside, but she couldn't find the door-handle, and when she did, she couldn't make it work. She had, for one long moment, been absolutely certain that she'd made the wrong decision. University wasn't for her. Ūnetkabyē certainly wasn't for her.

But she couldn't make the door work, so she walked forward, through the carts, through the people, through the noise, to the University.

And when she home for Veignevar's festival, she could laugh and joke. "I wondered where they put all the animals," and pretend she'd never been terrified.

Comments

[clare_dragonfly]

Huh. This is interesting, but doesn't seem to fit into the Reiassan I know. Where is this university? And why couldn't she make the door work?

Typos: "Sahsyō had, she known, gapes" "when she home"

[aldersprig]

Hrrm, what makes it not-fit to your read?

[clare_dragonfly]

I suppose it's that it doesn't feel like either of the time periods I've seen so far. The crowded city could be steampunk, I suppose... There's also the fact that I don't recall any mentions of a university in past stories, so that seems out of place.

[aldersprig]

That might be where you're throwing me; Rin's mentioned University several times (She went to Uni with Noni, for one).

Lannemer's been crowded for pretty much its entire existence afte rthe first century PD, esp. compared to a farming village.

[clare_dragonfly]

Huh. Well, I guess my brain blocked it for some reason :-P Sorry!

But she's not in Lannamer? Is she? Lannamer's not mentioned in the story.

I think the line thingies over the vowels are also puzzling me, as I haven't noticed you using those before--makes it seem like a different language.

Possibly it doesn't help that nothing really happens in this story? It's like a flashback to paralysis...

[aldersprig]

Working with the language, trying to make it work.

No, she's in another city.

Mm, if it's not working for you, maybe best to just leave it be?

[clare_dragonfly]

Yeah, I'm not saying to change anything! Just that I was a bit confused. But I don't have to love everything you write :-P

[aldersprig]

I know ;-D

Just can't figure out how to address the confusion.

(but the language - I'm still trying to figure out a consistent spelling that works. The macrons are the current idea).

[clare_dragonfly]

Well, I think as long as you pick something and stick with it I won't get confused XD If you're using the macrons, does that change the spelling of any of the words I know--Rin's name, or those of her family members?

[aldersprig]

The problem is, it's a work in progress, that's why it keeps changing.

Arinyanca... no, she's fine. Not changing Girey; he's Bitrani, everyone knows they spell things funny. And Elin's fine, and so are her mom and dad, though Noni should have a macron.

[clare_dragonfly]

I was just thinking that seeing a name I know with the new spelling would help me get used to it. But I suppose since you still haven't hit on something you're sure you want to use, there's no point in that. Good luck with it!

[aldersprig]

Aah!

It's all the long consonants that are the problem, mostly.

Thanks!!