Test Synopsis: the Rin and Girey Novel

[aldersprig]

Into Lanamer

After battle...
The war is over. After centuries of fighting, Rin's people have finally won a decisive victory over the southern Bitrani. Now all that's left is the clean-up.

...burn down the enemy's castles...
Nobody but Rin has figured out that the whiny Bitrani officer in their prisoners' tent is the dethroned heir to the Bithrain crown. But people from both sides of the battle are after his blood. Rin needs to get him away from the battlefield before he's killed - while keeping him from escaping and fomenting a rebellion.

...and build your house on the ashes.
~ancient Calenan saying
It's a long way from the battlefield to the capital city of Lanamer. Rin and Girey will have to dodge people from both sides who would rather see them dead, all while dealing with the weather, the wildlife, and each other.

And the journey will only get more interesting once they get to Lanamer.

Comments

[inventrix]

Mmm.

*** WARNING: Criticism ahead ***


I don't know. The second section is not very compelling; it leaves me sitting here going "why would she bother, why does she care?"

It also doesn't sound like it has anything to do with the first section. The whole clean-up thing is introduced at the beginning - which makes it sound important! - and then dropped in favor of the secret-prince-in-disguise thing.

The third section, who wants Rin dead? Is it because she has Girey? Then there's really no reason for her to bother with him.

(Also I don't really like "and things get even more interesting" types of lines. I don't like being told things are interesting; it prejudices me against finding them so out of contrariness.)

How far does this first book go? I thought it moved to book 2 before the political intrigue really took off.

[kelkyag]

This. String it all together more. Figuring out what's going to happen to the prisoners and how everyone is going to live together is a critical part of the "cleanup", socially speaking. That can flow more in the blurb.

And the same question about the balance of the book for road trip and bonding vs. court politics.

[rix_scaedu]

Should the synopsis have something about why they are going to the capital? It's just that away from the battlefield is not necessarily towards the capital.

[aldersprig]

Hrrm. Good idea, if only I could figure out why they're going to the capital.

[inventrix]

'cause that's where Rin lives?

[rix_scaedu]

And she wants to go home? See her friends and even some of her family?

[clare_dragonfly]

You took away the double Ns!