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aldersprigWell, I didn't make it to 25 by the end of the month.
Is there interest in me finishing the journey, or should I go back and edit/flesh out?
She stroked him slowly for a moment, enjoying he way he shivered.
"I belong to you." She smacked his thigh with the back of her hand. "You bought me. She pinched the soft meat on the inside of his leg. "And that was what was supposed to happen." She slapped his ass, hard. He groaned, little grunting noises, around the toy in his mouth.
She punched him in the kidneys. "I am yours." She grabbed his hair and yanked his head back. "I belong to you. You've claimed me." She ran her nails down his back. "Entirely. Forever. Damn you."
~
He'd stopped making sounds. She peeled his eyelid back to be sure he was still conscious; he blinked back at her.
"Yours," she repeated. "And you are never going to forget it again."
"Mm-mmrg?" He sounded groggy.
"Again. Now. Hold still."
He tugged on the ropes. She ignored his wordless commentary and dug in his bags again. "Somewhere... here." It was a good thing she had him tied up. "This is going to hurt."
She had a design in mind, and a location. The needle and ink weren't designed for this, but they worked. "The princess of Al-ben, indeed."
next: Choices (LJ)
Is there interest in me finishing the journey, or should I go back and edit/flesh out?
She stroked him slowly for a moment, enjoying he way he shivered.
"I belong to you." She smacked his thigh with the back of her hand. "You bought me. She pinched the soft meat on the inside of his leg. "And that was what was supposed to happen." She slapped his ass, hard. He groaned, little grunting noises, around the toy in his mouth.
She punched him in the kidneys. "I am yours." She grabbed his hair and yanked his head back. "I belong to you. You've claimed me." She ran her nails down his back. "Entirely. Forever. Damn you."
~
He'd stopped making sounds. She peeled his eyelid back to be sure he was still conscious; he blinked back at her.
"Yours," she repeated. "And you are never going to forget it again."
"Mm-mmrg?" He sounded groggy.
"Again. Now. Hold still."
He tugged on the ropes. She ignored his wordless commentary and dug in his bags again. "Somewhere... here." It was a good thing she had him tied up. "This is going to hurt."
She had a design in mind, and a location. The needle and ink weren't designed for this, but they worked. "The princess of Al-ben, indeed."
next: Choices (LJ)
no subject
Date: 2013-02-01 03:40 am (UTC)I'd like to see the finish before you flesh it out!
no subject
Date: 2013-02-03 04:35 am (UTC)also...
Date: 2013-02-03 04:45 am (UTC)→ her ?
"And that was what was *suppose* to happen."
→ supposed
She punched him in the kidneys.
(→→ Whoa! That's serious!!)
She grabbed his hair and yanked *hie* head back.
→ his
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(One of my good RealSpace™ friends does not understand that, for me, noticing this kind of thing does not interfere with reading and appreciation. At least not until zie starts nagging me about it.)
Re: also...
Date: 2013-02-03 03:25 pm (UTC)In re. noticing typos, I have two caveats:
* As long as I get some sort of comment on the piece itself
* As long a we both understand this is fast typing (and sometime frozen fingers) and not me not understanding how the language works.
(I've had people who explain to me, for instance, why that "his hand" should be "her.")
Re: also...
Date: 2013-02-03 03:37 pm (UTC)That about the kidneys was about the piece itself. But I'll put the brakes on about typos in general. I enjoy your writing and I don't want to hassle you.
Re: also...
Date: 2013-02-03 03:43 pm (UTC)It's hard for me to say, definitively, "yes, please don't call me on typos," or "please do tell me about the typos," because it varies on my state of mind (sigh).
Re. kidneys... still not sure if I should change it or not. /torn/
Re: also...
Date: 2013-02-04 12:13 am (UTC)Re: also...
Date: 2013-02-04 01:35 am (UTC)Re: also...
Date: 2013-02-04 03:28 am (UTC)Re: also...
Date: 2013-02-04 03:32 am (UTC)I had read you as female until you signed a PM, and I think it stuck until I saw a picture. *shrugs* My brain is weird.
Re: also...
Date: 2013-02-04 03:34 am (UTC)Re: also...
Date: 2013-02-04 03:37 am (UTC)Re: also...
Date: 2013-02-04 03:37 am (UTC)Re: also...
Date: 2013-02-04 03:44 am (UTC)