aldersprig: (AldersGrove)
[personal profile] aldersprig
Thirteenth in a series of character-building vignettes following a bunch of characters through their time at Addergoole & beyond.

"Abatu. Abatu... Eperu."

A tiny puff of dirt vanished.

"Again, and use the whole working."

"Abatu Eperu gamma χώμα." Braken leaned into the Working, pushing all of her energy into it. A pile of dirt the size of her fist disappeared.

"Better. And now we'll try something a little easier." DJ had its implacable, patient, never-getting-tired voice on. One of them needed to. "Create water in that hole."

"Meentik." Bracken coughed. "Meentik Yaku beta λακκούβα με νερό." As demanded, a little puddle of water appeared in the hole she'd created.

"Very good. But I still can't believe this is as far as you got in all of last year."

"Last year was a bit distracting."

"Your Workings classes aren't supposed to be subject to that."

"Tell that to my former Keeper." Bracken shrugged. "He wasn't all that bad or anything, but he was still distracting."

"I remember. Still, you're barely beyond basic Workings on anything..."

"Not on anything!" Bracken surprised herself with how vehement that made her. "Come on, there's a couple things I can do really well!"

Her Mentor paused in its diatribe. "Indeed? Show me."

Bracken found herself sighing in relief. She grabbed the hem of her shirt and yanked a big tear in it.

"Bracken, what are you..."

"Jasfe Unutu πουκάμισο." Fix my shirt. She stared at the shirt, and let her smile break out as the shirt mended itself perfectly.

She pointed at a chipped mug on DJ's desk. "May I?"

"Mm? Oh, yes."

"Jasfe Unutu κούπα." The mug looked as good as new, with almost no energy expended. "Jasfe Unutu καρέκλα." Her chair became much more comfortable. "Jasfe..."

"That's enough, that's enough." DJ looked as if it was trying to smile and frown at the same time. "Very interesting, very interesting. Appears you are... mmm... very specialized."

Date: 2013-10-23 03:58 am (UTC)
thnidu: Tom Baker's Dr. Who, as an anthropomorphic hamster, in front of the Tardis. ©C.T.D'Alessio http://tinyurl.com/9q2gkko (Dr. Whomster)
From: [personal profile] thnidu
Очень интересно! (Very interesting!)

Typo: almost not energy expended
not → no

Date: 2013-10-23 06:38 pm (UTC)
thnidu: my familiar. "Beanie Baby" -type dragon, red with white wings (Default)
From: [personal profile] thnidu

I like her.

I just noticed that DJ is "it" at the top and bottom, but in the middle: "Her Mentor paused in her diatribe."

Date: 2013-10-23 06:45 pm (UTC)
thnidu: my familiar. "Beanie Baby" -type dragon, red with white wings (Default)
From: [personal profile] thnidu

That's very easy to miss. Well, I did! But also it's a possessive pronoun, and as you skim the text for a fast check the sentence is perfectly reasonable and grammatical, and the second feminine pronoun agrees with the first one if you're not paying enough attention to notice that they refer to different people. That feels like how I overlooked it. So don't feel bad about it.

Dr. Whom

Date: 2013-10-23 09:15 pm (UTC)
thnidu: my familiar. "Beanie Baby" -type dragon, red with white wings (Default)
From: [personal profile] thnidu

DJ is ace? herm? neuter? ... ?

Date: 2013-10-24 01:42 am (UTC)
thnidu: my familiar. "Beanie Baby" -type dragon, red with white wings (Default)
From: [personal profile] thnidu

Thanks.

Profile

aldersprig: an egyptian sandcat looking out of a terra-cotta pipe (Default)
aldersprig

October 2017

S M T W T F S
1 2 3 4 567
8 9 10 11121314
15 161718192021
22232425262728
293031    

Most Popular Tags

Page Summary

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Oct. 17th, 2017 01:09 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios