A Gentle Reminder on Lyn Boundaries
Nov. 16th, 2013 01:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
aldersprigI know I've covered this before, but...
Phrasing is really, really important when dealing with a Lyn, especially a stressed/sick/tired one. (Which all of the above I am, right now).
Thus: should is a bad word. Unless you are directly trying to instill a sense of obligation in me (there are situations in which this is okay), please do not use it. It will stress me the fuck out, because I do not have room for that many more obligations right now. Why don't you... is almost as bad.
I would like it if is a nice phrasing. That's a gentle one, that doesn't make me feel battered upon.
Have you considered/thought about... is nice, too.
This will make it easier for me to deal with you, and cause me less stress in the long run.
Phrasing is really, really important when dealing with a Lyn, especially a stressed/sick/tired one. (Which all of the above I am, right now).
Thus: should is a bad word. Unless you are directly trying to instill a sense of obligation in me (there are situations in which this is okay), please do not use it. It will stress me the fuck out, because I do not have room for that many more obligations right now. Why don't you... is almost as bad.
I would like it if is a nice phrasing. That's a gentle one, that doesn't make me feel battered upon.
Have you considered/thought about... is nice, too.
This will make it easier for me to deal with you, and cause me less stress in the long run.
no subject
Date: 2013-11-16 08:45 pm (UTC)